When forgiveness is not accepted? - Love, the Antidote to Unforgiveness.

As Christians, we trust that God is love. He loves us unconditionally. God shows us what true love looks like. He even commands us to love. Love is a big deal to God. Hate (or unforgiveness) is the opposite of love. Holding a grudge, allowing bitterness to fester in us, and responding to a difficulty in anger are barriers to love.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Matthew 6:14. “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

How can we move from unforgiveness to love? Focus on love. We are what we focus on. So, if God is love–and He is!–then we need to place our focus on him. The more we focus on God and his amazing love for us, the more we are able to extend that love to others.

But forgiveness does not mean acceptance. It never means saying it is ok what happened to you, or it was acceptable that someone hurt you. This is where people often get confused. You forgive someone for you, not for the other person.

We do the same in our own life circumstances. We can’t seem to pull our focus from how we have been wronged. The details of the situation play over and over in our heads. We talk about it with everyone around us. We are completely focused, and sometimes obsessed, with the wrongdoing. This perspective robs us of our ability to love. How can we possibly love as God loves when we are holding grudges and bitterness against others? We can’t. We just can’t.

All of us have been wounded in some way by another person, mentally, emotionally, or even physically. Yet, forgiveness is a powerful tool to help us experience a greater degree of joy and freedom. While life can be filled with painful events and tragedies, we can rebound and move on quickly from life’s even most difficult situations when we wield forgiveness.

In 1 Corinthians 13, God gives a very clear picture of what love is and what it isn’t. Let’s focus on that. Take the blinders off and see all the abundance of life we have available to us through the beauty of love.

Most of the ground that Satan gains in the lives of Christians,” It isn’t hard to figure out why, once we realize that unforgiveness breeds bitterness, resentment, anger, unkindness, and even despair. Unforgiveness is when you are unwilling or unable to forgive someone for hurting, betraying, breaking your trust or causing you intense emotional pain. Forgiving is highly recommended, as there are various researches that have been carried out which shows that unforgiveness causes health issues including: Cancer.

Unforgiveness is when you are unwilling or unable to forgive someone for hurting, betraying, breaking your trust or causing you intense emotional pain. Ephesians 4:31.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Tell the person or them how sorry you are and ask for forgiveness. It could be you letting the person know that you love and forgive him, her, or them. It is possible you could find this difficult to do, but this action will help free you of your pain.

What does the Bible say about an unforgiving heart?

I remind you today that an unforgiving spirit can destroy the joy of the Lord in your life. There are times in our lives that we must spend time in tears and prayer to forgive others who have hurt us in some way or another. However, the Bible says in Psalm 126:6, “They that sow in tears, shall reap in joy.”

The Bible has quite a bit to say about forgiveness and unforgiveness. Perhaps the most well-known teaching on unforgiveness is Jesus’ parable of the unmerciful servant, recorded in Matthew 18:21-35. In the parable, a king forgives an enormously large debt (basically one that could never be repaid) of one of his servants. Later, however, that same servant refuses to forgive the small debt of another man. The king hears about this and rescinds his prior forgiveness. Jesus concludes by saying, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Matthew 18:35). Other passages tell us that we will be forgiven as we forgive (see Matthew 6:14; 7:2; and Luke 6:37, for example).

Do not be confused here; God’s forgiveness is not based on our works. Forgiveness and salvation are founded completely in the person of God and by Jesus’ redeeming work on the cross. However, our actions demonstrate our faith and the extent to which we understand God’s grace (see James 2:14-26 and Luke 7:47). We are completely unworthy, yet Jesus chose to pay the price for our sins and to give us forgiveness (Romans 5:8). When we truly grasp the greatness of God’s gift to us, we will pass the gift along. We have been given grace and should give grace to others in return. In the parable, we are appalled at the servant who would not forgive a minor debt after having been forgiven his unpayable debt. Yet, when we are unforgiving, we act just as the servant in the parable.

Unforgiveness also robs us of the full life God intends for us. Rather than promote justice, our unforgiveness festers into bitterness. Hebrews 12:14-15 warns, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root rises up to cause trouble and defile many.” Similarly, 2 Corinthians 2:5-11 warns that unforgiveness can be an opening for Satan to derail us.

We also know that those who have sinned against us – whom we may not want to forgive – are held accountable by God (see Romans 12:19 and Hebrews 10:30). It is important to recognize that to forgive is not to downplay a wrongdoing or necessarily to reconcile. When we choose to forgive, we release a person from his indebtedness to us. We relinquish the right to seek personal revenge. We choose to say we will not hold his wrongdoing against him. However, we do not necessarily allow that person back into our trust or even fully release that person from the consequences of his sin. We are told that “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). While God’s forgiveness relieves us from eternal death, it does not always release us from the death-like consequences of sin (such as a broken relationship or the penalty provided by the justice system). Forgiveness does not mean we act as if no wrong has been done; it does mean we recognize that grace abundant has been given to us and that we have no right to hold someone else’s wrongdoing over his head.

Time and again, Scripture calls us to forgive one another. Ephesians 4:32, for example, says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” We have been given much in the way of forgiveness, and much is expected from us in response (see Luke 12:48). Though forgiveness is often difficult, to be unforgiving is to disobey God and to depreciate the greatness of His gift.

“Love conquers all” is not a bible verse. However, there is truth to the statement. God is love and He conquers all. Even the most difficult situations or most heinous sins can be covered by God’s love and forgiveness. Love is a choice. When we choose love, our lives reflect the love of Christ to those around us. As a believer, isn’t that the goal? We cannot glorify God with a lack of forgiveness. When we choose bitterness and resentment, the enemy wins. When we choose love, we win. Love (God) conquers all.

Loves Leads to Freedom.